How should I word this painfully obnoxious new product?

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6660736

i m new, give me critque

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6331289

Featured Seller threads locked

FS Chat Room

5 Min Featured Seller IN CHAT Room (this thread is now Re-opened, but it was previously locked.)

Chat 5 Min Fs Game?

how does fs work on chat

From a Newbie....What is an FS Chat Room?

What means FS in the chat rooms?

How do you know who the featured seller is when chatting?

Threads not locked, but with posts removed:

Rules for FEATURED SELLER (FS) GAME in chat

FS chat

FS CHATS!!!

Live Models - Just Don't

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6080939

is there a market for rest packages on etsy?

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5794634

I am really frusterated

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5775787

these are all related to the muting of HRMB/SurrenderDorothy

Here goes
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5764937

So go ahead and lock this one too, Rob.
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5764948

I still don't see how Community rules were violated.
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5764962

Forums, Chat Rooms and Virtual Labs
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5764986

Critique of Admin --
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5764993

Tackless haggling

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5638080

Some cleaning up

All of these posts were originally separate. I had to do some editing, and it's a lot easier to just put them all in one post. So go ahead and bitch, but I figured these were old enough that no one would care too much.

Where's Gemma?
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5551342

I know this ain't the rite forum.......
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5567170

I have a really hard time believing that...
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5570998

This day will NOT be a shit sandwich...and I will NOT take another bite!
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5588510

Where IS Etsy Admin?
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5588511

Sellers overcharging for supplies
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5603471

Is this sounding fishy? Or literally phishing?
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5604485

Wow, talk about unfair neg feedback!
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5604876

Shop Announcements!
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5603822

Someone from WEEKS ago suddenly took their money back on paypal.
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5604111
FUCK OFF
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5591532

MY Apologies
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5591682

NOT My Apologies
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5591719

srsly... i need to be sterilized and maybe euthanized.
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5588370

Chat room meanies
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5593633
YOu're just not gonna believe what this dr said ! http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5596879

Retards!!!!!!!
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5598402

I'm FUCKED
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5602395

Report this post?
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5602362

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BADGES!
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5602504